I have been soooo bad lately. I’m sorry I havent blogged. If it makes you feel any better, I’ve been terrible at logging things in My Fitness Pal too. Anyways, I am proud to announce that I am down another 2 lbs!!!
I was so scared to weigh today because I felt like I totally fell off the bandwagon but I made myself do it and I was pleasantly surprised. I guess the trick of weighing is to wait about a week after you’ve done terrible at your diet and exercise and then weigh. LOL! I had a week of sickness…I had a terrible throat infection and a double ear infection. My throat actually had a hole in it and my uvula was swollen twice the size it should have been. I havent felt that yucky in so long! All I could think about was comfort food and a warm snuggly blanket. After that I took some antibiotics which caused a yeast infection and had a UTI on top of that (sorry if it’s TMI). I fought that for another week and finally I’m pretty much on the mend. I am proud to announce that I have not had a single glass of sweet tea in the past 23 days, I have only had one pop (that’s because my mother in law shamed me into it), and I have been really making an effort to eat more fruits and vegetables and less sweets and carbs. I can honestly say, I dont do the protein shakes twice a day anymore. I usually do one for breakfast now that I’m back on the bandwagon and I eat a really light lunch (usually it’s leftovers of what the kids didnt eat or a peanut butter sandwich.)
I’m not going to lie, while I was sick I got really down on myself and almost quit altogether. I had almost convinced myself again that I was fine the way I was and that I will always be a heavy person. I told myself lie after lie but somehow, I didnt drink any sweet tea…actually, I didnt even crave it. So that told me that if I can break a 15 year habit in 23 days, that I can do this. I may not see huge numbers falling off when I weigh but as long as I see that minus sign instead of the plus sign, I’m doing great.
I watched a lady on Dr. Oz the other day that had lost 107 lbs in 2 years and was able to keep it off for 5 years. Granted she totally did a paleo-whatever diet and was super extreme but she did it. I saw her, practically the same weight I am in her beginning stages and decided that if it takes me 2 years, it takes me 2 years. I cant possibly just jump up and down and have 60 lbs shake right out of my pantaloons! LOL! I just need to keep focusing on making better choices every day and it will show…slowly.
I have had a really hard time balancing my feelings in all of this. I really want to lose the weight but I struggle with the idea of being one of “those” women. I know I’ve talked about it before on this blog. I have been thinking of all the things I’d love to do once I’m there. Here’s my list.
1. Shop on the right side of Maurices. For 5+ years now I’ve shopped on the plus size side on the left and I’m so ready to be able to fit into a size XL or 16 jeans.
2. Look at myself in the mirror and actually turn and look at my profile. I rarely ever to that because I can accept my standing, from the front appearance. It’s that pregnant looking belly that really kills me.
3. I want to be able to zip my grandmother’s coat. This sounds so silly but the other day, I was going to help my grandmother open gates to feed cows. She handed me a pair of mud boots and a coat to wear. The boots wouldnt go on and I had to wear my grandpas. (That doesnt bother me too bad though because I’ve always had thick calves) But when I put the coat on and it wouldnt zip, I was really embarrassed. It barely fit across my shoulders and I was scared to death it would rip out when I opened the gate but I survived.
4. I want to run. I dont mean I want to run marathons or anything but I just want to be able to jog and think it’s fun.
5. I want to fit into the women’s Carhartt clothes at Farm and Home. They have some really cute work clothes and I want to be the “cute farmer’s wife”. Super vain, I know but I cant help it.
That’s all I can think of right now but I’m sure there’s more that I’m missing. I saw a blog yesterday and she was soooo stinking funny and I thought to myself “Oh, I’m sure she’s one of those skinny perfect mommies” then I read some more of her blog and she’s not. She posts her size on there and her fashion sense is to die for! She wears a size 16 dress and size 14 jeans. I realized that after I saw how comfortable she was in her own skin, that I want to be just like her. She is gorgeous, sexy at times, comfortable in her own skin, and a great funny mommy that loves her kids and husband unconditionally and shows it in quirky ways. Basically, exactly what I’d love to be. I will get there someday…I just keep telling myself “Keep it up Kristin. You can do this!”
Until next time, check out Brittany’s blog. She’s great!