So it’s not broken…

by kristinwood

I went to my family practice doctor Monday and she thought I’d torn some ligaments but wanted to do an x ray to rule out any fractures. So I was all finished there and on my way home and get a call from the nurse that I had a fracture in my navicular bone in the top of my foot near the ankle. And she got me all set up with an ortho doctor yesterday and I was told to use crutches.

Yesterday I went to the ortho doctor and they did 4 more x rays and twisted my foot around and made me hurt. After the x rays the doctor came in and told me that the fracture they saw on the x rays was an old fracture. I was like “What the what?!?”. Lol! I couldn’t remember ever breaking my foot but…um ok. I’ll take that answer. He said that I have a bad sprain and have torn some ligaments. He pushed around on my foot and pinpointed the point where he thinks the injury is and said that if it’s not better in 2 weeks to come back and they’d probably have to do an MRI and look into it further.

Today I’m thanking my stars that the swelling has gone down some but I’m probably in more pain than I’ve been in since it happened. After I left his office yesterday, I was determined to walk on it and not use crutches and be stubborn. Lol! So I ached and throbbed off and on all night last night and I’m still aching today.

Aside from the upset that my running is at a screeching halt, I have been consumed with emotional eating. I haven’t watched my calories and I’ve eaten chicken Alfredo and yesterday I even got a 12 inch chocolate chip birthday cookie with frosting and have been working on it. I knew I would regret it but the cravings took over my brain. It was an awful feeling.

Before I went yesterday, I hobbled upstairs to weigh and I had gained .4 lbs since Friday. I cried and cried and then I cried some more on Tim’s shoulder. It was silly and frustrating and upsetting to think that I couldn’t run and help burn the calories I needed to burn to keep losing. I’m still sitting here frustrated and I’ve been eating myself into misery. I don’t really know how to cope with this feeling of being held back from the things I’ve wanted to do.

I’m scared that I’m going to gain the 30 lbs back that I lost while I just sit around and wait in my ankle to heal. I’m afraid the boredom of sitting around is going to drive me right into some bad bad cravings. I’m worried that I’ll be behind and have to repeat weeks of training and I won’t be ready for the 5K in January. I’m even more worried that my ankle will never be the same and will always cause me pain when I run. I was finally getting to the pain free point when I ran and I was soooooo enjoying it.

It’s taking everything I have today just to stay focused on folding laundry. I have editing to do and so much cleaning to do. I’m so mad that I’m at a stand still but I know God has a lesson in this trial for me. I know this is part of His plan and that I’ll get through it and somehow be better for it. I just need to keep the faith. 😉

Just to give you a visual, here’s my ankle today. Some yucky swelling and bruising.

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Yesterday I called it my elephant leg. It’s not so gigantic today but it’s sure ugly. Lol!

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