Tonight I had a change of plans and ended up with some free time from 5-7 while my kids were at a birthday party. I decided to drive home, let the dogs out of their crates and then come back to town and run at the school on the lit all weather track. It was a beautiful brisk night and the moon was lit pretty bright but there were loads of clouds…I really wish I would’ve gotten a picture. It was simply stunning! Anyways, I started running and was 2 laps in and I noticed someone come up behind me and passed me while I was walking the last 50 yards or so of my 2nd lap. I decided to kick back in and run some more while she was still ahead of me. It was so cool because even though, I walked a little the gap between us didnt really get any bigger. Then on my 3rd lap another lady started running ahead of me and I almost caught her right before I finished and walked my cool down! These were skinny chicks too! I was so proud of myself! I bet I outweighed them by 75-100 lbs! Just goes to show that if you put in the effort, you’ll reap the rewards.
After that, I went to pick up my kids from the party and while there another mom/grandma said “Come over here and let me see you skinny Minnie”. As I walked over there she then said “You had lap band right?”….talk about feeling awkward and deflated. I just didnt quite know how to respond. I’m sure my face gave it all away. LOL! I just said, “Nope, I’ve just been working hard by running and eating right…actually I was just running at the school tonight and kept up with 2 skinny gals so I must be doing something right!”
Isn’t it sad that there are people out there that dont think you can lose the weight without some help? It’s so incredibly sad that overall, as a whole our nation is the generation of “the quick fix” and needing help for everything. Why cant we just be self sufficient and trust our minds? It’s sad but if I want to know how to do something, I turn to Google. I look it up, evaluate whether or not I have the tools or skills to do it and go from there. I did that with crocheting and with baking cupcakes. No one helped me or did it for me. I did it myself.
That run was so empowering tonight in so many ways. Before I ran, I gave myself a little pep talk (like I usually do) and then I stretched. While I was doing my warm up lap, some awesome music pumped in and I was ready. As I was kicking in to run, I felt light as a bird and I was soaring. I was accomplishing what I thought was impossible just months ago. As I was lacing up my ankle brace, I thought about how many people thought I couldnt do this or still think I cant. I thought about all the negativity I have overcome in my life. I thought about the hurt, the healing, the wind that was knocked out of my sails at times and I thought of every damn chocolate chip cookie that I let take over. It got me to thinking how different I am from all that…I’m no longer hurting, I’m healing. My body is repairing itself after a decade of torture.
That run was for the girl who had a hard time fitting in at college because her clothes were getting tighter. That was for the girl who started avoiding cameras because she couldnt stand her neck in pictures. That was for the girl that was scared to death before her first flight that the seatbelt wouldnt fit and she would be crowding the stranger next to her. That was for the girl afraid to sit in a folding chair for fear of it splaying out. That was for the girl who would carry 4 cookies into the living room and refuse to share them even though there were 4 more in her pockets. That was for the girl who never felt truly pretty…ever. That was for the girl that used to bake on sad days just to feel the warmth of the oven on her face. That was for the girl that fought depression and suicidal thoughts after feeling like she’s lost all control of her life but was just plagued by raging hormones running through her body from being overweight and overwhelmed. That run was for every single moment she thought “I cant”. That run was the exact opposite of the cants…that run proved that she can and she did.
I am taking control and I will no longer be overcome by these obstacles. I am living my life in the right direction and I am winning…every.single.day I win a little more.