Turkeys, Lost Keys and Suffocation

by kristinwood

Oh that title sounds like an album title or the punch line to a bad joke. Today has been hard. Yesterday was harder and tomorrow may be hardest. Who knows. I do know that I’m about maxed out on emotions. In fact this was my journal entry for today

I’m tired of thinking, of worrying, of obsessing. My mind has been on overdrive for weeks. Every neurosensor in my body on edge. While sometimes feeling is good, I’m tired of it. I want to be on autopilot and stop it all from over stimulating me.

Anything from my family drama, to the Duck Dynasty crap, to the rants about US Cellular problems (including my own). They’re all starting to really bog me down. Usually I really love Facebook and today I really avoided it. I just couldn’t handle the bouncy balls going everywhere. It’s all so much and my brain just needs to stop thinking and trying to express itself. Lol! I’m such a creative person that my creative mind is always working and churning and taking in everything. I want to have a numb day where things don’t get to me and I don’t think about painting, or crocheting, or writing or taking pictures.

Even though I did have an emotionally raw day I managed 2 workouts today. I ran a mile around noon and lost my keys on the way so had to backtrack about another half a mile until I found then. Then tonight while watching Glee, I opened up the Pumpup app and it put together a 30 minute workout for me to do and I did that. I must say that push-up burpees are incredibly hard and I don’t think I’ve done any form of sit-ups since wearing a B cup and I’m fairly certain the “ladies” we’re trying to suffocate me but I survived it. I didn’t eat too bad today except for the loaded baked potato and broccoli I had for supper. It was soooo good. That’s why I did the second workout tonight to burn off the sins of cheesy bacon goodness. Lol!

I’m really not expecting a loss on Tuesday because I’ve been do emotional lately and have not been very focused on my goals. I’m not going to beat myself up over it though as long as I don’t gain more than 2 lbs. I truly don’t want to gain any but it’s inevitable. I’m just setting realistic expectations. Holidays are rough. Holidays with a very broken family are even rougher. Holidays with a broken heart are the roughest and trust me, mines been broken lately.

On to another topic before I reveal too much info and add to the already burning firestorm. Tomorrow I’m going to see my good friend Cassie who is also my hairdresser. I’ve been very distraught about all those hair clumps in the shower and I’m scared to death my hair is looking awful lately. So she’s gonna take a peek at it and see if she thinks I’ll benefit from a shorter cut or what we can do with it. I’m hoping she’ll look and notice some new hairs coming in and I’ll be on the downhill side of this hair loss and maybe offer some products and tips instead of a cut. I really love having long hair but not if it’s ugly. Lol! I’ll keep the blog posted if I get a new do!

I’m off to bed to sleep away the night. Hope we don’t get the nasty weather they’ve been saying. We shall see…night everyone!