Preventative maintenance…that’s what my husband calls it at work. Basically it is maintenance and upkeep on machines to make sure they dont give them fits. That’s the stage that I’m in right now. I have decided that I’m not a winter person…I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder and I get especially gloomy around February. So I’m working to keep my body and mind in shape now so that hopefully I wont lose my mind come February. For several years now I have suffered some form of depression in February. It’s usually triggered by more than just the weather changing but this year I’ve decided to be proactive. I have a plan for February 2014’s SAD bout.
1. Keep busy. – Find crochet projects I enjoy and do them. Keep my housework up better. Actually put laundry away instead of living out of the basket for weeks. Paint a room. Watch every episode of Sons of Anarchy with my husband. File that pile of mail that builds up. Write letters or cards to elderly or sick. Text friends. Whatever it takes to keep my mind from going idle…that’s what I’ll do.
2. Spend time outside of the house at least once a week. – This could be as simple as going for a drive with Tim after the kids go to school. I have recently been going to ladies bible study on Wednesday mornings and I really enjoy it. I plan to keep that up. I need to get out and not hermit. Along with getting out, I need to shower and do my hair every single day. I couldnt tell you how many days this past week I’ve worn the same shirt. It’s sad how I lose track of time until I start to smell myself or the thought of anyone actually getting close to me makes me do the pit sniff to make sure I have fresh deoderant on.
3. Make a photo diary entry every day in February. – I will post them on Instagram every single day. I will not have a particular theme to my madness but I plan to keep my creative mind churning every single day in February and be inspired to look at something differently through my lens. I need to think of a cutesy creative hashtag…I’ll ponder that a little more.
4. Go outside once a day and thank God for what I have. – Sounds kinda dumb when I put it into words but I so often find myself just opening and shutting the door to let the dogs or kids in or out. I forget to actually take not of what the weather is like or feel the wind and sun on my face. I will do that.
5. Pray for someone every day. – This can be the quickest or longest prayer ever but I plan to pray for someone different every day. God answers prayers and I see His work daily in my life. Why not share Him with others.
6. Tell my husband thank you for something every day. – He is such a wonderful provider for me and my family and sometimes I take that for granted and forget to thank him. Not only does he provide for us financially he is there for me emotionally too. He has picked me up so many times and wrapped me in a big wooly bear hug and everything just felt right in that moment. He has saved me on countless occasions and his love for me never fails. When he asked my dad if he could marry me, he promised my dad that he would take care of me and he has never let him down. That’s something to be proud of.
7. I will have a real conversation with my kids (one on one) once a day. – So many times I have this “How was your day?” It was fine mom” type of conversation and never really talk to them. We just go through the motions of our daily activities and get through it. I forget that part of interactive parenting is making them feel heard and loved in that way. I really plan to look into the love languages and really work on that with my kids. They both need that attention from me and I plan to give it.
Those 7 things are all I can think of right now. I really am kinda OCD and want to have a list of 10 things. LOL! That’ll do for tonight. I can always come back and add to it.
I’m sure some of you are wondering about my diet and exercise and weight loss so I’ll just give you a quick update. I am trying to work out 3 times a week. Lately it’s been hit and miss and I’ve procrastinated or made excuses or been sick but tonight I did the elliptical and made it 2 miles and I plan to keep at it. If I miss a day or so here and there, my biggest accomplishment will be getting back on after a break. That makes me a winner.
As for my weight, this week I weighed in at EXACTLY the same as last week. I didnt even lose or gain .1 of a lb. It was insane. I guess I’m doing ok at this “maintaining” thing. I know winter is hard for me and I dont expect to shed another 50 lbs in 6 months again anytime soon. So right now I just want to maintain my weight loss and if I lose a lb here and there, that’s great. When the weather warms up, Tim and I are going to do the Couch to 5K plan and I will start working to lose the last 54 lbs then. I love to run outside and with him by my side, it’ll be all the more rewarding. I’ll definitely post pics when we get all done. Maybe I’ll talk him into letting me take before and after shots of him too. 😉
I’m still watching what I eat and trying to eat healthy. I try to balance carbs and proteins and incorporate fruits and vegetables in every meal. I also am really try to get away from carb-ie snacks. It’s hard to stay away from those dang BBQ kettle chips but they’re all gone now and I dont plan to buy more. LOL! We just got our deep freeze full from our home raised cow that we had butchered so I’ll have plenty of meat for a while and I’m excited for steak date nights with Tim. His steak on the grill is better than any restaurants around here so I get super excited about that. And he grills in the winter too! Couldnt ask for anything better than that!
I’m still as optimistic as ever and I haven’t given up. I’m just not going at it gung ho. I will write a blog post about my lady hormonal problems one of these days but I just cant talk about it right now. It’s embarrassing and hard to put to words and sometimes I cant even wrap my head around it all. But I mention that because I started taking Vitamin E along with my multivitamin in hopes of getting my cycles more regular and restoring my reproductive health. I’m willing to try anything noninvasive and simple at this point.
Today I read a blog about a woman who weighed 450 lbs at her heaviest and lost 100-150 lbs at a time then yoyoed back and forth and now weighs 350 lbs after 22 months of working really hard at changing her lifestyle and seeing a therapist. It really put things in perspective for me. It’s not about body image or looking hot in a bikini. It’s about living my life the best I can. Could I have lived a great life at 265 lbs? You betcha but I’m living a better life now at 214 and I’ll live an even better one at 160. I know theres better days ahead for me. I know I’m meant to make a difference. I know I’m still in the beginning of this journey. I have a long ways to go and I will probably forever battle with my body. It’s not easy and it’s not fast but it’s worth it. Rewards are coming. I just keep powering through. Without struggle there is no progress.