Needed a little encouragement here lately
I’ve been feeling like I haven’t achieved much lately. It’s like the 56 lbs I’ve lost aren’t real. Does that make sense? It’s been so slow going and I look at myself in the mirror daily and it’s not a drastic change so it’s hard to really see it for myself. I’ve talked about this feeling so many times with Tim. He keeps telling me to look at the pictures from the Relay for Life last year in June 2013. I can honestly say those are the absolute worst pictures of myself I’ve ever seen! I blocked them out of my memory they were so bad! So when I found them tonight, I wept.
I cried because I remember how embarrassed I was when I ordered that shirt in a size 2XL and it was still tight and I had to stretch it all out. I remember picking out those pants thinking how comfy they were and they were breezy. Did you know they were MATERNITY pants? I’m so ashamed to admit that I had been wearing maternity pants for so long to accommodate my huge belly! I remember after seeing those shots I had decided that I was going to wear a size large shirt this year. I didn’t know then how to get there but that was my unspoken goal. It is still a goal of mine and I fully intend to stay true to it!
Here’s some proof of the horrible pictures I was talking about! The photo on the left was at my heaviest at 265 lbs and the right was just a few weeks ago and I was down about 55 lbs.
It’s crazy but Tim was right! I can see it in those pictures! I seriously spent the past 20 minutes saving old photos from Facebook to my phone so I have some more “before” pictures. I look do sad and embarrassed in almost all of them. I hate that about myself. I hate the flood of sadness when I see those awful photos. I have crazy mixed feelings right now that I can’t quite put to words but seeing the before and afters makes my mind up…I’m doing the right thing and whether or not I look any different from yesterday is silly to think about. These pictures don’t lie. I’m choosing happiness!
Down 56 lbs and I won’t stop until I’m where I want to be! I can’t wait until these “after” pictures become “befores”!