A brand new day

by kristinwood

Tonight I prayed as usual and I prayed for my new journey and fresh day tomorrow. I also prayed that God would show me some scripture to help me out. I do this a lot of times and a book, chapter and verse just pops into my head. Tonight it said Exodus 4:13. It says

But Moses said, “Pardon your servant, Lord. Please send someone else.”

Honestly I was puzzled by that verse and I said out loud “Seriously, God?!? That’s all I get to work with? What does that mean?” Then I read the entire chapter and it made more sense. It was the verse where God sends Moses to speak His word to the people. He gives Moses a staff that turns into a snake and then back to a staff. He also tells Moses to place his hand back into his cloak and bring it out. It appears leperous and then God heals it. He also says that if the people still do not believe him to take the water from the river and throw it on the ground and it will turn to blood.

After verse 13 it says that God gets angry at Moses and basically says that He will help him to speak and put words in his mouth to say. He is telling him to trust Him.

I know I definitely have anxiety about starting my workout routine and healthy diet again tomorrow. Most of all I have major anxiety about what the scale will say and how much I’ve gained. I truly don’t think I’m floating around ONEderland anymore.

Tonight I stood naked in the mirror and prayed that I didn’t gain much and that it would be water weight and it would come off in this first week. I thanked God for my curves and extra skin. I prayed for the strength and courage to see that number tomorrow and use my powers for good.

I prayed that my head would stay strong and that I could stay motivated. I also prayed for another lady that seems to be struggling with motivation right now. I want to be there for other people but right now, I can only pray for them and offer positive vibes when they need it. I’m not Super Weight Loss Diva. I’m just me…I feel like my journey has been so slow moving but that doesn’t discredit it at all. I keep hoping it just means I’m doing it right.

Someone told me the other day to give myself some grace. At first I was like “I don’t think grace means to allow yourself a huge bowl of cheese curls and mini M&MS.” Lol! I decided to look that up as well.

This is what grace is defined as:
(in Christian belief) the free and unmerited favor of God, as manifested in the salvation of sinners and the bestowal of blessings.
a divinely given talent or blessing.
plural noun: graces
“the graces of the Holy Spirit”
the condition or fact of being favored by someone.
“he fell from grace because of drug use at the Olympics”
synonyms: favor, approval, approbation, acceptance, esteem, regard, respect; More

All of this information that God has showered me with tonight just confirms even more that this is not my battle to fight alone. God is still beside me. He still believes in me and is blessing me every step of the way. Tomorrow I start fresh and I will report on that weigh in…even if it’s embarrassing.

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