Pipe Dreams vs. Real Dreams

First off, I’m not going to apologize for being MIA on this blog for a while. I spent the two weeks my kids were out of school on them and enjoying the holiday. Did my diet and exercise stay on point? Nope. Am I going to obsess and feel guilty? Nope. I started out the break full of anxiety and with a ton of negative head space. I had so many scary thoughts racing and I couldn’t wrap my head around how to be superwoman during the holidays. Do what did I do?

I went to my family Christmases. I ate what I wanted. I spent time on the floor wrestling and giggling and putting together toys. I gave hugs. I thanked God for life’s abundant blessings and for sending Jesus to earth on Christmas Day. I loved with my whole heart and I didn’t let food control me.

I’m sure you’re also wondering why I didn’t have any super inspiring preachy posts on New Years. Well here’s why: New Years is so cliche. I get grumpy and angry seeing all the posts about ” being a better me this year” and “losing the weight this time” and on and on. Studies show that so many of these so called goals are just pipe dreams. I’m a dreamer but I’m not a pipe dreamer. New Years isn’t for me. I don’t buy into the hype. I don’t set goals I don’t intend to knock out of the park.

Today I felt like I was made of gold. Today I want to bottle these feelings up though. I had spent Sunday thru Tuesday feeling awful. I picked up the stomach bug that’s been going around and I lost every bit of my Christmas break weight. Do you know what I think that was? I think God was looking out for me. He said “Kristin, you’re worth more to me than all the gold in the world. You are back where you were. I took care of you. Now you go on and carry on being awesome.”

And that’s exactly what I’m going to do. This might seem way off topic but yesterday I ripped all of the old wool shag carpet out of the room that I had been exercising in. Lexi, my 13 year old cat decided to pee on it and the curtain in there. It was awful and the stink was indescribable. I hate the smell of cat pee and I had to get rid of it pronto! So I spent an hour ripping it out and throwing it out the window. Today Tim and I discussed what kind of flooring we wanted to put back in there once tax time come around. After a little bit of discussion about the purpose of the room and function, etc I had a lightbulb moment…what if I had my very own home gym?!? Complete with rubber floors and a rockin stereo and a word wall to inspire me. What if it was just “my” room where I killed it? Is that a pipe dream? Nope. Am I gonna pray on it and see how to make it happen? Absolutely!!!!

Do you know that I am 42.6 lbs away from my ultimate goal? Do you know that last year I lost over 50 lbs in the first 6 months of my journey? I can so do this. I have been sitting so comfortably lately. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. I was struggling daily to just be happy in my own body and love it just the way it was. I had force fed my mind the lie that I was where I was supposed to be. Well wake up call!!! I’m at 33 BMI…44% of my body is still fat….I am NOT there yet. I am still bigger than most women. Today I found my perfect example of what I want to be. This woman is gorgeous and strong and has legs like me…like a warrior. I want to look like this when I can finally say “I’m done. I have put in the work and I’m exactly where I was meant to be”

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The lady on the left is Jen Widerstrom. She’s a personal trainer and her body is the most beautiful bodies I have ever seen. I can look like that when all is said and done. I am going to get there!

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