This is embarrassing

by kristinwood

This is going to sound so strange but coming back here and posting a blog post full of my inadequacies is more embarrassing to me than posting my weight or pictures of my in a bra. Why? Well I’m a person that doesn’t like to fail and for almost 2 years I didn’t fail. I won so often, I forgot what it was like to lose. Well let me tell you, this past 6 months has been a miserable spiral of losses. I have consumed things that should not be consumed and I have neglected my body. I have tried to get back into that routine and failed so miserably. 
Well tomorrow is my fresh start. Tomorrow the kids are going back to school and I’m getting back on the wagon with a renewed spirit and some new game plans. I used to work out and eat with the sole purpose of losing weight and that worked well for a while but this chapter, I’m going to work out to fuel this body and train it to be the athlete that it is. I have learned after looking at my body in the mirror and seeing it perform that I am incredibly strong. My body has an athletic build and I am happy with that. I was asked by someone very close to me what I want my body to be like. I replied “I want to be the strongest woman in the room. I want people to see me and know that I am too. ” That might sound incredibly weird to some but I have acknowledged the fact that I will never be slender and have long luscious legs or thin arms. I will never have dainty features or be without freckles. I will always be strong and I want to look strong and toned and muscly without excess fat or cellulite. I want to be strong. So I plan to treat this next chapter as if I was training for an athletic event. I plan to stay absolutely focused and keep my wits and start blowing my goals out of the water! 
New goal time:

1. I want to ride my bike to 136 and back before it gets to cold to ride. (That’s about 12 miles)

2. I want my jeans to fit well again. 

3. I want to fit into the 3 tank tops my aunt gave me that are size large. 

4. I want to take it one week at a time and weigh simply to log a number in a book. I don’t want it to define my overall progress. 

5. I want to exercise (bike, row, or walk/jog) 5 days a week. 

6. No cheats for a month. (Then hopefully another month and another) 

7. Drink 100 ounces of water a day. 

8. Limit my Facebook time and spend quality time with Tim and the kids. 
That’s all I can think of right now. I plan to blog like I used to, random rambling thoughts whenever I needed an outlet or a way to air my feelings. It seemed to help in the past so I’m gonna try it again. Night yall! I’m so ready for tomorrow! 

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