by kristinwood

Let me paint a picture for you. It’s not a pretty one. In fact it’s downright ugly and sad and depressing. Its rating outside, the house reeks of burnt bacon grease and you enter a bedroom. On the bed is 8 stacks of clothes, several trash bags and a very sad overweight person who is mentally trying her best to claw her way out of this hole. 

That person is me. I’m struggling so bad and I am so upset and frustrated with myself. I’ve been lying to myself for weeks and putting in half assed work and expecting miracle results. I have been struggling so bad with this new life schedule and Tim’s new hours and trying to be happy and finding that inner peace and it’s just not working. 

I have been trying to reflect on what worked in the beginning and I have decided to get there again. I am not in the right mindset to blog about this new plan but for today, I’m going to do my best to get through it and mentally prepare. I’m going to sort these clothes into trash bags labeled 200 and 190. That is the weight I will have to get to to pull these bags out again. I’m removing all of this negativity and trying my best to stop dragging myself down. I’m only keeping clothes in my closet and drawers that makes me happy to wear. I know that has limited my wardrobe drastically but it’s been really weighing me down. I need to feel happy again. I crave that happiness and I hope to get back there in the next few weeks. I’m exhausted from thinking myself into circles.