Two weeks

So two weeks now I have *mostly* been following a low carb/high fat & protein diet. Two nights ago I did something stupid…I weighed AFTER a long 10 hour day at work caring for babies. Yep…I’m an idiot. A week before that I weighed at 233.6. Which was a 3.4 lb loss in one week! I was ecstatic! But then that after work weigh in about did me in. At 235.7 I thought my hard work was ruined. I was angry and honest to goodness decided to just starve myself. Tim offered to make supper and I refused every bite. I sat in the sunroom a tear streaked mess and pouted like a toddler. I told Tim I wasn’t taking another bite because I was afraid I wouldn’t stop eating. It was a horrible mess to be in. And you know what u did an hour later? Ate a half bag of chips and raided the kids’ Easter candy. I was so over ever trying to lose weight again. I have struggled this past week with clothes fitting right and bras leaving my ribs bruised to the point of tears. Too many nights to count, I have come home from work, stripped my clothes off and just laid naked with absolutely nothing touching me. I felt like every single neuron in my body was on fire!

The reason I share all this is because it’s been an awful two weeks but it taught me something. In all of this I have learned I’m truly doing what’s right for my body. Do you know I’ve slept over 8 hours every.single.night?!? My eczema has cleared up after a consistent carb detox. I have unintentionally removed processed foods from my diet and my body is happier! My mind might’ve struggled a bit with the changes but my body was doing the happy dance. And you know, even if it felt like I went backwards, I still came out of this experience 2 lbs lighter! I saw the scale go DOWN! That’s amazing and hasn’t happened in ages! I have hope and I will carry on! 
I laid in bed this morning overthinking how I could fit 30 minutes of exercise in my daily routine and truth is, I really can’t. I need my sleep, I need my work, I need to provide meals and support to my family. I will do my very best to get in 30 “active” minutes on my Fitbit each day though. I have been doing fairly well in that area already but I can do better. I don’t have to run, or row, or ride my bike, or do a workout video. All I will shoot to get is 30 total active minutes each day. They don’t even have to be consecutive minutes. This, I can do. 
Never give up, has been my motto and after spending some time reflecting, that’s exactly what I’m going to do. I will keep being awesome every day and I refuse to let a grumpy evening get me down. I have so many things on my side and it’s too late to start counting failures over victories.