The Diary of a Hopeful Fat Girl

Month: August, 2017

Here I am. Send me…

I’m sure a lot of my Facebook friends are wondering why the cryptic messages and prayer requests. This is a very hard thing to talk about and I’m begging you to read onward with your heart wide open. Please don’t be quick to judge my brother. He has a beautiful heart and I am so very very sad that myself and our family have not gotten to see it for a very long time. 

For the past 2 years he has built walls against us. Talk, scary spiky walls that can only be taken down by Gods grace. We don’t know what we might have done to cause him to harden his heart against us. I especially haven’t been given the opportunity to hear anything from him. He has blocked me and shut me out. 

Long story short, here I sit. 

I’m waiting on Colorado on his doorstep until he comes home.  Several weeks ago I got on my knees and begged God to help this situation and to heal my broken heart and to use me as a vessel for His plan. 

Last week I heard His voice loud and clear telling me to go. At first I didn’t bat an eye. I knew I had to find a way to follow His command. And the past 36 hours have been so scary and hard. I traveled 800 miles by myself to see someone who probably doesn’t even want to see me. I kept asking God the entire flight why me?  I’m not strong or powerful or worthy of such a task. His voice has been very clear that yes, I indeed am. All along the way He has shown me his many promises. 

The first one came in the form of a song. As it usually does because music is such a huge part of my life. I caught wind that Kylle had recorded backgrounds and some instrumental for an album on iTunes. I immediately downloaded it and the first song is titled “How I Need You”. Now I know that song was originally written talking about someone needing God but I heard Kylle’s voice crisp and clear. I truly feel he needs us and may not know how to reach out anymore for whatever reasons. 

Yesterday at 6:00 am I had to check in for my flight and once I did, it gave me my boarding pass. My flight was #1984 and my gate was #33. I was born in 1984 and I am 33 years old. That was absolutely not a coincidence. God was speaking to me in numbers. 

Today I visited his house numerous times and he was not home. I felt defeated and lost. I questioned God once again as to why He would send me all this way for this to happen. I went on a trail hike and prayed. 

It was gorgeous by the way. I begged God to send me more signs. I was expecting a moose or something big to just walk out of the grass. But nothing happened. I waited an hour and still nothing. But His voice kept resonating in my ear “God keeps his promises”. As I walked out of the trail feeling very isolated and vulnerable i came across a huge area of daisies that I hadn’t seen before. Field daisies are my absolute favorite flower. God winked when I picked one up and carried it with me. 

God keeps his promises. I decided to make one more trip today to Kylle’s house. I didn’t know what I’d do when I got there. I figured he wouldn’t be home. But guess what was right across the road from his house? 4 beautiful deer…a daddy, momma and 2 smaller ones. 

The picture isn’t the most perfect but that’s ok. God sent those deer to me to send me a message. If you know me well, you might have heard the many stories about God sending me deer. I blogged about at least one of them further back if you’d like to read it.

 Anyway, here I sit. My face is red and flushed from crying so much and lack of sleep. I feel like my appearance is a road map for where I’ve been these past 36 hours. So thank you to everyone who has been praying. I don’t know Gods plan. I may or may not get any answers out of this trip. But what I do know is that my faith is stronger because of it. Faith over fear my friends. ❤️❤️❤️


Diet To Go experience 

So a few weeks ago I was contacted by a super sweet lady from Diet To Go. She asked if I would like to try some of their meals. I researched the company and noticed that they had low carb options. The reviews looked great so I decided to give it a try. 

I had never tried a meal subscription plan before and I wasn’t sure what to expect. I thought maybe it would be a few nasty freezer meals in aluminum foil that I had to heat in the oven from the 80s. Boy was I wrong! First off, let me start by saying that these meals FAR exceeded my expectations! 

They came shipped in a cooler type package with ice packs and were cold when I got them. 

Some of the meals included were:

Tuscan Chicken, creamed spinach with red pepper and green beans

Mediterranean egg casserole, chicken sausage and vegetables

Baked Cajun salmon, cream sauce, asparagus and broccoli

Chicken Roma with pine nuts, Swiss chard and seasoned cauliflower 

Teriyaki flat iron steak, wasabi cauliflower mash, broccoli and fajita veggies and 

Tuna salad, carrots and provolone cheese chunk 

Spinach and pepper quiche, green beans and sausage link

Chicken fajita with fresh pico de gallo,received beans, sour cream and carrots

Of all of those delicious meals, my favorite was the spinach and pepper quiche. I jotted down a few thoughts after I had that one. I noted that it was something I probably would have never tried. I’m a very picky eater so I was really stepping out of my comfort zone. Lol! But it was delicious! The quiche had great flavor and I could taste a hint of smokiness. It only took a few minutes to heat it in the microwave and the green beans were perfect! It was as if I had picked them fresh from the garden, washed them and steamed them right then and there. They were so FRESH! The sausage link is one of the best I’ve tasted! And I’ve been a hog farmer my whole life so I know good meat! 

My second favorite meals were a tie between the tuna salad and the chicken fajita. I absolutely love Mexican food and this fajita was amazing! I could taste all of the rich flavors, from the cilantro to the chicken. The tortilla shell was whole grain and delicious! It was way better than those I’ve tried from the local grocery store. The pico was fresh and tasted like it was authentic Mexican cuisine! (I snuck a few carrots before I snapped the pic)

The tuna salad was a huge portion! It had great flavor just like what my momma makes with a hint of red pepper. It was a nice twist on a traditional favorite of mine. My kids had a bit of it and loved it too!

So my photography skills are lacking, I know. Haha! But I just want to say that these meals are perfect for someone with a busy schedule. The trays are the perfect size for my lunchbox that I take to work and they heat well and dont warp. 

Final thoughts:

Would I recommend this to my family or friends? Absolutely! They are phenomenal! 

Were the portion sizes reasonable? Yes! I’m a person that generally saves half of whatever I order from restaurants. So I don’t usually have large portions at a time but these were more than I usually eat. I actually shared some of them with my husband (and he LOVED them too!) 

How did you feel about the low carb option? I loved the low carb options! I generally try to eat low carb and I’m always looking for new ideas. A lot of times when I order a low carb option, the seasoning is lacking and not very flavorful. These meals were seasoned very well. And I suspect tell they were prepared by a real chef! It was like having my own personal chef! Haha! 

Overall I was very pleased with my trial and thought everything was fresh and delicious! Give them a try!